A First-person Account

Bishop Gene Robinson preaches at Thursday evening's OutMass. (photo by J.) Click for a larger version.

A fellow Montrealer, who also happens to be a gay man, married to his partner and living courageously with HIV, has written an account of Thursday evening's OutMass. I stumbled upon this today, and was so happy to read it. The service was extraordinary - attended by about 350 people, many of whom were from the LGBT community, including many visitors to the city for the OutGames - it was joyful, moving, and a watershed event for many of the people there, who had not attended a church service or taken communion for a long time. I'm proud to have been a part of making it happen, and very happy to have been there to lend my support. Just hearing all those voices raised in song during the hymns was thrilling - the organist told me he kept adding stops, and more stops, and the voices still were almost more powerful than the huge organ itself.

If anyone hears of other accounts of this event, please let me know.

I spent yesterday with the Bishop - we took him to the Jean Talon market in the morning, where for a few hours he could wear ordinary clothes and just be a guy who loves food and color and bounty - then to an interview at the Montreal Gazette, then to an hour-long appearance on CBC's Radio Noon show, broadcast throughout Quebec - the first caller was a man driving his car in the Gaspé, who pulled over to the side of the road to call in - and finally to another book signing at a bookstore. It's been a long couple of days, but very rewarding. As we sat signing books on Thursday evening, the bishop looked over at me and said, "It must feel kind of strange -- like finally sending your baby out in the world."I smiled and said yes, it did, but that I was really happy to be doing that too.

At Radio Noon (I'll post a link to the audio later this week), the producer said that he was surprised to have received many calls during the hour from people who didn't want to ask a question, but had called just to express their appreciation to CBC for doing the show. "This often happens when we do a show on a spiritual topic," he said, looking a little bemused. Gene and my husband and I had actually been talking about that earlier: how French Canadian, Catholic Quebec, during the Quiet Revolution, had thrown over the religious establishment, emptying the churches and becoming a much more secular society - hugely so, in comparison to the United States. But that doesn't mean that people aren't still spiritual, or religious, or that they aren't hungry for a way to express this that feels authentic and honest to them (in fact you find examples of a deep religiosity and sense of moral justice in this society all the time.) The feeling of gratitude and happiness that I sensed and heard, both at the OutMass and during the radio show, therefore, didn't really surprise me: I've learned in my work that this longing for spiritual authenticity and expression is intrinsic to humanity. But it did make me very happy to be contributing something to that process.

Sunday Addendum: Today at church I heard more examples of how people had felt during Thursday's service. They used words like "transformative", "Spirit-filled", "life-changing", and "powerfully affirming". One gay man, a priest himself, told me that he had been astounded when Gene began by excusing himself from the heterosexuals in the congregation to say, "Forgive me, but I am going to address myself to my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters" and then proceeded to preach to them. "To hear him speak of our struggle, directly to us, so openly --it was a whole new experience for me." The man shook his head and smiled. "Does he always do that, speak about these things so honestly?"

"Yes," I said, "that's who he is." That's a big part of why I wrote the book, too - because not that many people have the opportunity to experience this sort of witness directly, and I've seen how powerful and how freeing it is.

I've seen it, but I can't feel it through the heart of a gay person; I can only feel it by translating my own struggles as a woman into greater understanding for the struggles of another group. Developing empathy for one another, and the universal desire for justice and freedom that human beings share - should be at the core of religious teaching, it seems to me. We go searching in religion for comfort and peace for ourselves, but the heart of all the world's religious traditions is transformation - transformation into people who have glimpsed greater peace and comfort, perhaps, but are willing to forego resting in that warmth in order to try to share it with others. This isn't a one-time thing, either, but a process of deepinging awareness that goes on and on, with peaks and valleys and times of plunging back into struggle and darkness and uncertainty.

It's the internalization and understanding of that journey - halting, painful, profoundly human - that gives certain people their authenticity and authority, much more than "saintliness." I think people may have come on Thursday expecting to hear or see someone saintly, but they found something quite different - someone quite a lot like themselves.

Comments

[dale]

That's wonderful, Beth. I am (illogically and with considerable effrontery) so proud to know you!

[Marja-Leena Rathje]

Yes, me too! This is very moving reading.

[Dave]

"We go searching in religion for comfort and peace for ourselves, but the heart of all the world's religious traditions is transformation - transformation into people who have glimpsed greater peace and comfort, perhaps, but are willing to forego resting in that warmth in order to try to share it with others."
Amen!

Thanks for the report and update - very moving.

[Bill]

Just wanted to say hello